Funny, isn't it, that infants quickly learn that their own smiley faces bring smiles back to them? Babies eventually learn, however, that their smiles don't always get the desired results from those previoously happy people. Although Baby learned the basics of how to win friends, influence people, and express positive attitudes with her smiles, she soon finds that crying loudly produces more immediate results (such as a dry diaper or a bottle) than smiling does.


So it is that shortly after we learn to be cheerful, we also learn how to complain. We somehow unlearn the advantages of positive attitude and develop "squeaky wheel" skills that get our needs met more efficiently. Some of us (okay, many of us) as adults still use complaining to vent our frustration and - as if by magic - to get situations remedied.

Something generally is missing in our logic, however. Why do we complain about situations that we have no intention of working to change? If we're not going all-out to change what exists, why trade-in our positive attitude for negative feelings?

I was thinking about positive vs. negative attitudes after having blogged about the different attitudes my brother and I have toward mockingbirds (see post entitled "Adapting Avian Attitudes"). I climbed into bed last night after having worked late at my computer. I was tired after what felt like a long day, and was ready for a long snooze. Just as I pulled-up the covers, I heard the loud squawking of several barnyard geese just outside our bedroom.

Suddenly, I recalled that many times I had cursed those messy fowl - both for the feathers and excrement they deposited outside our door and for their honks that "only a mother could love." Momentarily, I found myself wishing I had Baby Bro's .22 rifle (We are in Texas, ya know).

All at once, I realized what I was doing to myself: I wasn't going to run those geese off (not even if I had a rifle). I wasn't going to "fix" the situation (any more than I was going to "fix" city hall or any resident of the White House [past or present]). All I was doing was choosing unhappiness over happiness by focusing on what I did not want.

So I took the opportunity to "choose and move." I laughed at myself (Feel free to laugh at me as well, especially you, Baby Bro.), realizing how easy it is to "become un-trained" and let go of the positive attitude we have so carefully cultivated.

My advice? When you catch yourself focusing on your complaints, stop and re-choose. Find a way to look at the situation differently; laugh at yourself if you can. If other people have learned how to be happy, you can too. We really don't have to go anywhere to find happiness.We can simply choose to be happy.

Now, where are those ear-plugs I was going to suggest that Baby Bro should use?