An Alternative to New Years Resolutions?
December 31, 2011
New Year’s Resolutions: Everybody makes
‘em; few keep ‘em. Remembering previous failures, many people
continue making the same resolutions year after year.
Others give up entirely, shaming themselves for their failure to
keep resolutions. Before we set New Years Resolutions 2012, however, let’s
consider how to set ourselves up for success.
Perhaps the “out with the old, in with the new” calendar causes us to look at what we have achieved thus-far and to question whether our progress will serve us in the new year. In the Northern Hemisphere, Nature has finished her harvest and awaits the germination of the next season’s crops. Whether conditioned by society or by Nature, most of us use the New Year to assess our lives... usually promising ourselves, “This year I REALLY WILL make those changes.”
Considering the word resolve, however, I find it no surprise that most of us fail to keep New Years Resolutions. The word itself (and its related terms [resolution and resolute]) carries the connotation of determination and, ... well, stubbornness. All that sounds very well, except for the fact that, psychologically, it’s self-defeating to fight ourselves.
“Wha-a-a-t!?!!” you may ask. “I thought it was necessary to be firm-minded and committed to change.”
No argument here with commitment and firm-mindedness. What is in question, however, is that most New Years Resolutions propose that we resist ourselves, that we go against our own desires and that we find fault with ourselves. Psychologically...
The resolution “I will lose weight in 2012” is worded for failure: First, it's worded in the future... always just out of reach. Second, what we “lose,” we somehow “find” again, don’t we? Instead, look deeper: Ask yourself what the goal is behind weighing 10 (60, or 200) pounds less: Being healthy? Looking great? Attracting a mate? Feeling good about yourself? All of the above?
Whatever the goal-behind-the-goal, see yourself as already having reached it (or, reached THEM)!
Next - without shame, without blame - state the desired end result in the present tense, using only positive language. For example:
The affirmation above contains only positive wording; no self-accusations; no shaming for failure. Nothing to lose; only positive outcomes to gain. By wording your affirmation in the present tense, you program your subconscious that it's a "done deal."
To increase the positive effects of your New Years Affirmations, include the following:
With affirmations - especially combined with visualization - our subconscious mind opens to receiving and achieving.
Forget resolutions! Achieve your New Years Affirmations with positive self-talk, along with baby steps!
Perhaps the “out with the old, in with the new” calendar causes us to look at what we have achieved thus-far and to question whether our progress will serve us in the new year. In the Northern Hemisphere, Nature has finished her harvest and awaits the germination of the next season’s crops. Whether conditioned by society or by Nature, most of us use the New Year to assess our lives... usually promising ourselves, “This year I REALLY WILL make those changes.”
Considering the word resolve, however, I find it no surprise that most of us fail to keep New Years Resolutions. The word itself (and its related terms [resolution and resolute]) carries the connotation of determination and, ... well, stubbornness. All that sounds very well, except for the fact that, psychologically, it’s self-defeating to fight ourselves.
“Wha-a-a-t!?!!” you may ask. “I thought it was necessary to be firm-minded and committed to change.”
No argument here with commitment and firm-mindedness. What is in question, however, is that most New Years Resolutions propose that we resist ourselves, that we go against our own desires and that we find fault with ourselves. Psychologically...
... What we resist, persists.
The resolution “I will lose weight in 2012” is worded for failure: First, it's worded in the future... always just out of reach. Second, what we “lose,” we somehow “find” again, don’t we? Instead, look deeper: Ask yourself what the goal is behind weighing 10 (60, or 200) pounds less: Being healthy? Looking great? Attracting a mate? Feeling good about yourself? All of the above?
Whatever the goal-behind-the-goal, see yourself as already having reached it (or, reached THEM)!
Next - without shame, without blame - state the desired end result in the present tense, using only positive language. For example:
“I celebrate my strong, healthy,
slender body by enjoying fun activities with positive, energetic
people.”
The affirmation above contains only positive wording; no self-accusations; no shaming for failure. Nothing to lose; only positive outcomes to gain. By wording your affirmation in the present tense, you program your subconscious that it's a "done deal."
To increase the positive effects of your New Years Affirmations, include the following:
- Write an affirmation (positive outcome) for each area of your life: physical, spiritual, financial, relationship (and any other area you might think of).
- Use action verbs and adjectives that you can visualize.
- Read all affirmations twice per day, visualizing the outcome you desire.
- Take “baby step” actions to move toward your goal. (Start a sensible exercise program; join a like-minded group of individuals who empower each other in a common goal; find an inspiring source of extra income.... Better still, find something that includes more than one of your goals-behind-the-goals.)
- Keep your spoken word positive, staying in alignment with focusing on what you do want.
- READ from authors who promote
self-acceptance. (If we resist our
self-worth, we also self-sabotage.)
- Practice speaking words of affirmation to your best friend, yourself!
With affirmations - especially combined with visualization - our subconscious mind opens to receiving and achieving.
Forget resolutions! Achieve your New Years Affirmations with positive self-talk, along with baby steps!
Posted by Billie Willmon. Posted In : Making Positive Changes
Educator, Speaker, Presenter with a passion for empowering others to value themselves and others, recognizing that gifts are often disguised as problems; to celebrate our unique qualities, which make the human race amazing!
Her youngsters' chapter book (The Knock-Kneed Cowboy) and two co-written best-sellers (more about them elsewhere) have given her the opportunity to connect with parents, youngsters, teachers, and groups, especially on the topic of self-acceptance and "pro-respect" (a healthy alternative to "anti-bullying")
